


Count

by PiercetheCas



Category: Pierce the Veil
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Chaptered, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OCD, Perrentes - Freeform, Pierce The Veil - Freeform, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-11 14:13:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 8,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8984542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiercetheCas/pseuds/PiercetheCas
Summary: Tony Perry is a 22 year old with a habit of counting his steps.Mike Fuentes is his tattoo artist who finds Tony attractive.But Tony has a past that will come between them.





	1. Steps

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This first chapter is just a teaser, I'll post the first full length chapter tomorrow.  
> I'm actually diagnosed with OCD and for the longest time I counted my steps, always ending on an even step, so that aspect of Tony reflects that. I also struggle with organization and thinking that if my surroundings aren't perfect, I can't be, so I tried to reflect that in his character.  
> -Cas

Tony registered each step he took, numbers flashing through his mind, making his mind whirl.

It took 1,396 steps to get from his apartment door to the counter at his local tattoo shop, named "Tattoos by Mike".

Mike, his tattoo artist always greeted him kindly, excited to see what tattoo he would get next, but Tony always thought he was nice because of the money Tony paid, because who would actually want to be nice to him?

This time was no different, Tony entered the shop, ending at step 1,396, a bit breathless, ringing the small bell that always sat on the counter, smiling when Mike rounded the corner, a sketchbook already clasped I'm his hands, since it was Tuesday at 4:00 P.M., the time Tony always came.

Mike ushered Tony to the back eoom, smiling at him as he took a seat, smiling even more when Tony told him the tatoos he wanted, a rainbow flag wrapping around his ankle.

Tony watched as Mike got prepared, his mind analyzing everything that was wrong in the room.

Mike had a small bookshelf with sketchbooks on it that were not organized by height and width, rather just thrown haphazardly on the shelves, which make Tony feel a bit queasy, so he looked away. Also, one of the paintings Mike had hung on the wall was slightly crooked, and it made Tony's fingers twitch, and he desparately needed to stand up and fix it, but he didn't.

Rather, he focused on the way Mike's tattooed hands sketched out his design, he focused on the way Mike smiles when Tony told him it was perfect and he focused on the pain of the needle as it poked repeatedly into his skin, giving him his own kind of release.


	2. Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Over the break I'm going to try to get a few chaptered fics started so watch put for them.  
> Also, what ships do you want me to do? I want to do a fuenciado chaptered and maybe a cashby, but any else?  
> -Cas

The shirts on the rack were not organized by color and it bothered Tony.

Not bothered in the sense of it annoyed him, but bothered him in the sense of it caused him to stop in his tracks, feeling fear, feeling s if his life would end because a few shirts were not organized by color.

Tony stood there for a few seconds, a couple bags clasped in his shaking hands before he walked over, nit caring how he looked as he set his bags down and went to work organizing the rack, feeling right after he finished.

Tony's cheeks turned red when he saw a familiar face looking at him. Of course Mike, his tattoo artist, had to be in the am store at the same time, which meant he probably thought Tony was a freak.

Tony looked down, grabbing his bags again before trying to shuffle away but was stopped by a gentle hand grabbing his arm, one look down at the hand told him exactly who it was, Mike.

"Hey, Tony. how are you?" Mike asked, voice energetic, ignoring what he had just witnessed.

Tony shrugged, staring at the swirls of colors on Mike's arm, picturing the hours he must have spent in a chair similar to the one Tony occupied every Tuesday at four. He thought of all the germs that must have been absorbed into his skin along with the ink and the thought made him want to gag, instead, he settled for tapping his fingers on his hip bone in sets of 4.

"Tony? Hey! You spaced out for a bit." Mike said, eyebrows creased and Tony felt bad because he had to talk to such a socially awkward freak who couldn't handle a little disorganization.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go?" Mike said, well more like asked, put off by Tony's demeanor.

Tony instantly blushed, feeling terrible because the rods wouldn't come out, he wanted to talk to Mike, spark up conversation, tell him how the swirls of ed and blue were so captivating, but he couldn't.

Tony only stood and watched as Mike walked away, and interally, Tony counted his steps.

56 steps and Tony could no longer see Mike. 1,294 steps and Tony was finally alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!   
> -Cas


	3. Odd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! My phone plan was up so I couldn't post but here's a new chapter.  
> -Cas

Tony's heart was still racing once he got back to his overly neat apartment, ending on an even step like normal. He had it down to a science, 14 steps from the front door to the kitchen doorway. 12 more steps until his hand could grasp the handle of the starch white fridge. 2 steps back as it swung open. 22 steps to the deep blue couch, a label less bottle of water in his right hand, tattooed fingers counting in beats of four.

He took sips so that the water would evenly coat his mouth, and he put the cap back on the bottle before setting it on a coaster that sat on his glass table that was so shiny it was nearly see through.

He tapped his foot nervously as he thought back to what happened at the store, his breath tatting to come out unevenly as he thought about what a fool he must have looked like, he doubted Mike would ever want to tattoo him again.

Tony slowly stood up, fingers still rythmically tapping a beat on his belt loop, distracting him form the racing thoughts in his head.

He walked to the kitchen and 26 steps later he stood in front of a cabinet, pill bottle loosely clutched in his right hand and a frown on his face.

He slowly swallowed a pill, so used to taking them he didn't even need water anymore.

The effects slowly took him over, making his mind feel fuzzy, so disoriented that he didn't realize he laid down on the couch after only 23 steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!  
> -Cas


	4. Ink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm trying to make these longer. I'll post a teaser for the new fic tonight or tomorrow, I have the first chapter written out.
> 
> -Cas

A week later and Tony sat in the same leather chair in Mike's tattoo parlor, his right hand gripping the handle as Mike tatoos his arm, this time a small flower.

Tony gritted his teeth as the needle rythmically pierced his skin, each time delivering ink to his skin, piece by piece creating a masterpiece.

Mike was always silent as he worked, lips drawn together and eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated on his work, making each shape and line seem special.

Once the tattoo was done, Mike wiped a small piece of paper towel over it, wiping away the small dots of blood that had risen to the surface.

"Like it?" He asked in his normal up beat tone, smiling at Tony who nodded slowly, gazing down at his new tattoo, captivated by the way the ink swirled through his skin like a small river.

"Good, same time next week Tony?" Mike asked, knowingly.

"Please?" Tony whispered and Mike smiled because Tony had actually responded, which was rare.

Tony stood still besides the incessant tapping of his right fingers in beats of four.

Mike handed him a small appointment slip before opening his mouth to speak again.

"Hey Tony? You come in here a lot but I don't know much about you. how about we get coffee, now actually? I'm closing after you leave anyway." Mike said, looking at Tony so hopefully that he couldn't say no.

That's how Tony ended up sitting in front of Mike, a glass of black coffee in front of him, steam still curling up towards the ceiling.

"So Tony, what's your favorite color?" Mike asked randomly, making Tony flinch, but his fingers never stopped tapping, hopefully Mike hadn't noticed yet.

"Um, grey, you?" Tony mumbled, wiping at his cheek nervously, eyes downcast, trained on Mike's tatoos hands.

"Blue. So, you like Star Wars?" Mike asked, pointing to Tony's tattooed knuckles, Tony instantly perked up, light filling his eyes as he rambled to Mike about Star Wars and how it was the 'best thing ever created'.

Mike just smiled as Tony talked, taken away by how fast Tony was talking.

"Never took you for a nerd Tony." Mike said, without menace, smiling at Tony to let him know he was just teasing.

Sometime during Tony's ramble, his fingers had stopped tapping and he didn't even notice, too caught up in Mike, more specifically how perfect Mike seemed.

No one else had ever bothered to it and listen to Tony's rambles before, so he was surprised when Mike reacted with nice smiles and kind words rather than judging glares and taunts, like most of Tony's previous friends had done.

"Um, I don't mean to be too forward, but are you gay?" Mike asked, blushing a bit and looking at the small rainbow flag he had tattooed on Tony's upper arm.

"Uh, yeah? Is that okay?" Tony asked, and his fingers started tapping again as anxiety rushed through him.

"Yeah! I am too, actually. Only my brother knows, well now you too." Mike said, smiling at Tony who smiled back.

"Actually, would I be too ahead of myself if I called this a date?" Mike asked, eyes wide and hopeful as he stared into Tony's brown eyes.

"Of course not." Tony responded, and again, his fingers ceased their tapping.

"Well Tony, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?" Mike asked Tony who looked shocked, brown eyes wide and mouth agape.

"But you barely know me." Tony responded in a small voice, hands gripping tighter around his black coffee mug.

"Tony, you've been coming into my shop for forever now, I know you more than you think." Mike pointed out and Tony had to admit that he as right. He had been getting tatoos by Mike for almost two years now, but this was the longest conversation the two had ever had.

"Okay, Mike." Tony answered his previous question, causing Mike to grin and grab his hand cautiously to which Tony responded by squeezing Mike's hand, thumb running over Mike's knuckles.

"What do you say we go to the park?" Mike asked to Tony nodded and followed Mike put of the shop after paying for their drinks.

And if you asked Tony how many steps he took to get to the park, he wouldn't have an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! I forgot to say but I got a drum set and guitar for Christmas which is awesome so I've been trying to learn those (who knew drumming was so hard). I also got the PTV cds and I've been listening to AFFTD over and over and it is so amazing (the cheap bouquet is perfect).  
> -Cas


	5. Motionless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I don't think this will be too much longer but who knows. This story is just supposed to be hot and point out the key points in their love life, not really be as detailed as a normal chaptered fic.  
> The OCD aspect of Tony's character is going to be reflected more in the next few chapters as well.  
> -Cas

For the next few weeks Tony and Mike met up at different locations, all public and not very romantic, until one night when Tony walked into Mike's Tattoo Parlor and Mike had it transformed into a lover's paradise, rose petals dotting the look all the way to the leather chair that had a bouquet of flowers sitting on the seat.

The lights were dimmed and Mike sat in a small chair beside a drawing he had pinned up on the wall of a heart , but not just any heart. It had blues and greens flowing through it, swirling in a way that made Tony's heart flutter.

Mike smiled as Tony walked in, standing up to wrap the tall man in a hug, pleasantly surprised when Tony leaned his head up and captured Mike's lips in a gentle kiss, one Mike would expect from someone as shy as Tony.

"Hey baby." Mike whispered, wrapping his hands around Tony's waist.

"Hey." Tony responded, a giggle chasing his response.

Tony and Mike just looked into each other's eyes, captivated by the moment and each other.

"I was thinking that we could go to my place after our session?" Mike requested, squeezing Tony's hand that was surprisingly still.

"I'd love to." Tony answered, making Mike smile and peck his lips again.

******* ***

Later that night, they laid in Mike's bed, Mike curled around Tony who had his head rested on Mike's chest. Both boys were naked, but didn't care as they laid just appreciating each other.

"I really like you Mike." Tony whispered as he traced the ink on Mike's arm.

"I really like you too Tony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Comment your thoughts as well as any prompts you have, I will post my new perrentes later tonight.  
> -Cas


	6. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I keep getting distracted by my guitar which I am surprisingly okay at. Thank you all for reading!  
> -Cas

Mike always noticed that Tony was a little different. It wasn't his large gauges, random tattoos or shyness that caught Mike off guard, rather the way he would always pause in a doorway as of he were lost, and the way his right hand was always movings, not to mention the way he walked, always in a straight line with perfectly even steps, never changing his pace.

Mike had suspected Tony had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but he wasn't sure how to breach the topic, a Tony would probably close up and refuse to speak and Mike definitely did not want that, he never wanted to make Tony feel uncomfortable around him, but he was also tired of the secrets.

He didn't really know that much about Tony other than he lived tattoos and was very quiet. He knew bits and pieces about Tony like the fact he moved to America from Tijuana when he was younger and that him nd his mother weren't close, but he didn't know much else and it frustrated him and he decided he was going to get a few answers.

He deserved them, Tony knew everything about him, he knew about his family, his childhood and what he was feeling at most moments, he knew everything there was to know about Mike but he always closed up when Mike would try to get to know him and Mike questioned if their relationship was healthy because it lacked trust and trust is essential in a relationship.

Mike tried to talk to Tony many times and he always received short answers that revealed absolutely nothing, so he was already worked up when he talked to Tony for the millionth time.

It was Tuesday at 4 p.m. and instead of being in Mike's tattoo parlor they sat in Tony's living room, each with a mug of coffee, Tony sitting straight, alert.

"Tone? We've been together for 3 months and I still don't know that much about you. You can trust me, and if you don't think you can, maybe we shouldn't be in a relationship." Mike said, breaking the awkward silence.

Tony tensed even more if that was possible and Mike swore he saw tears filling his eyes.

Tony opened his mouth to speak (probably more excuses) but he let out a small whimper instead which made Mike instantly feel concerned, placing his mug down and taking Tony's from his shaking hands.

"D-don't break up with me, please." Tony whispered brokenly, wiping at his red eyes.

"I just want you to trust me Tony." Mike insisted kindly, grasping Tony's hands with his own, looking at him with a kind expression, no menace coating his features.

"I do. I- I just have issues." Tony whimpered, blushing and looking at the ground.

"What do you mean?" Mike questioned, letting Tony lean into his side a bit.

"I have anxiety." Tony whispered so quietly Mike almost didn't catch it.

"Baby, I care about you so much nd I will help you, just trust me with these sorts of things, okay? If you ever need to talk I'm here. Tony, look at me. I love you, so fucking much." Mike said honestly, making Tony's eyes widen and tears to pour down his cheeks but this time in happiness.

"I-i love you Mike." Tony replied, a all smile gracing his shaking lips.

Mike smiled back before kissing Tony passionately, forgetting about all the anger he held towards the man mere minutes only, focusing alk his energy into Tony, more specifically, loving Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! I'm posting my fuenciado tomorrow so look out for that and this will probably only be another ten chapters or so (my chapters aren't long so maybe around 5k words, maybe like 8k).   
> Also, Fast times at Clairemont High is amazing, why don't people talk about it more?   
> -Cas


	7. Regression is Not Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's habits become a bit worse and Mike worries for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I don't feel like doing this again so if you want you can read my noyes on abwask to hear what happened today because I'm still a bit upset so this update may be lacking but I want to post for the new year.  
> -Cas

Tony didn't notice when it started to come back. The ubtle twitch of his fingers as he walked through a doorway, the absent minded scratching at his inked wrists. 

Mike didn't notice either, not until Tony started repeating words. They old be having a simple conversation and Tony would repeat the last word of each sentence twice. At first, Mike thought Tony was zoned out, maybe sick. But it continued for a whole week and Mike was concerned because Tony didn't seem to notice it.

"Hey Tony?" Mike whispered as they laid in Mike's bed, which might as well have been just their's as much as Tony occupied it.

"What Mike? ... Mike." Tony responded in the abnormal fashion he had been usinh.

"Have you thought about going to a doctor like a psychiatrist maybe? To see if you have OCD?" Mike asked, gently, worried that Tony would close up like normal.

"I don't have a fucking issue... issue." Tony growled, pushing Mike away a bit so that none of their skin as touching.

"Like hell you don't Tony!" Mike shouted, scaring Tony, "You are a fucking anxious mess all the time. You've been repeating words lately, you do wierd things Tony. It's not normal. I just want to fucking help you." By the end of his rant, Mike's fists had curled menacingly and his face was bright red, not even noting that Tony wasn't hearing him, rather a voice from his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! I want to start a more regulated update schedule so I'll post that on my next update (tomorrow probably)  
> (Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger)  
> -Cas


	8. House of memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Chapter title belongs to P!ATD.   
> -Cas

Tony kept his hands clenched around his ears even after Mike was done, fear making his stomach turn.

He felt gentle hands pulling at his own that refused to budge from the sides of his head. He could make out frantic apologies spilling from Mike's lips but in that moment all he saw was Jake. 

Jake, his ex lover. Jake, who no one knew about. He always told people Mike was his first everything, hell, he told Mike he as his first. His first kiss, his first love and the one he lost his virginity to. But it was a lie.

Mike gently wrapped his arms around Tony, feeling truly horrible for acting so harshly towards the talk man, he just worried so much about him and he could only express that through anger and frustration.

"Tone? Tony? Tony!" Mike pleaded, scared when Tony lowered his hands but kept the same vacant look on his face, he was just so apathetic.

"Baby?" Mike asked, not aware of what Tony was going through, not aware that he was just making it worse.

Tony's fingers were tapping in beats of four on his leg, his eyes wide, tears streaming down his cheeks and his lips were shaping out the same word over and over again.

"Tony, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I want to help you, please." Mike begged, wrapping his arms tight around Tony, gasping when Tony's fist flew into his face.

"Oh my god." Tony choked out, paling at his own actions, he was no better than Jake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!  
> -Cas


	9. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> -Cas

Tony ran. His feet pounded down the narrow stairwya, carrying him outside into the frigid air.

His heart was pounding and he knew he was gonna get it if he went back. Tears fell down his cheeks and his throat constricted as panic took over his body, evil thoughts circulating his mind as he walked further away from their apartment.

He hadn't even brought his phone, he realized, frowning at his own stupidity.

He walked aimlessly for a few more minutes before gasping when he saw Mike, sitting on a bench looking dejected.

Tony wanted to run again when Mike looked up and had a bruise on his cheekbone, lips pulled into a frown. Tears still cascading down his cheeks.

Tony counted his steps as he walked over to Mike, stopping on number 24, mouth open and ready to apologize but Mike cut him off with his hand. 

Mike too quickly, walking away and Tony followed him, trailing awkwardly behind. He was definitely getting his ass kicked when they got back.

Once they reached the apartment complex, Tony panicked again, breaths coming out rushed and shallow, head feeling fuzzy.

"Tony?" Mike asked gently, not aware of the thoughts going on in Tony's head then.

Mike shook his head with a sigh when he received no reply, heading up the stairs, hearing Tony's footsteps behind him.

Once in the apartment, Mike walked to the living room and was surprised that Tony didn't follow, rather, he went into the bathroom and Mike heard the lock click into place making him flinch.

Tony was in there for a while and when Mike had enough, he swung the door open, not prepared for what he was about to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Update will be Thursday (unless I get bored tomorrow). It's not what you think tho.  
> -Cas


	10. Self Medicate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Chapter title belongs to PTV (Props & Mayhem).  
> -Cas

Tony stood hunched over the sink, a needle jammed into the crook of his arm. Mike gaped at him, since when did Tony do drugs?

Mike didn't know what to do, Tony hadn't noticed him yet and he didn't want to startle him since he had a needle in his arm.

Mike gently knocked on the door and Tony's head shot up to look at him and Mike winced. Tony's pupils were dilated and his face was relaxed, he was higher than a kite, Mike couldn't deal with this.

"Tony?" Mike asked, trying to push his anger back. Tony was hurting and needed his help.

"Come here." Mike commanded, and looked away as Tony removed the needle, tossing it on the counter before walking over to him, looking at him with vacant eyes.

Mike helped him stumble to the bedroom, sighing when Tony paused in the doorway before muttering something and entering.

Mike made Tony sit on the bed, taking his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to do.

He was pissed. How could Tony do this to himself? What the hell was he thinking?

But he was also worried. Something was wrong with Tony and Mike wanted to figure it out.

He sighed when Tony grabbed him, making him sit on his lap and started kissing his neck, biting here and there. Mike tried to peel himself from Tony, sighing harder when Tony grabbed his hips and started grinding up whispering gentle apologies in his ear between giggles.

"Tony stop." Mike growled and instantly Tony obeyed, hands falling to his sides, a whimper escaping his mouth as he looked at Mike with a sad expression.

"He used to hit me." Tony mummbled, seeming a lot less high than when he was chewing on Mike's neck.

"What?" Mike asked, confused.

"My ex. He used to hit me. Treated me like a fucking punching bag." Tony muttered, jaw clenched in nher as he reminisced.

"Oh my god, Tony. Why didn't you tell me?" Mike gasped, wrapping his arms around Tony who remained apathetic, face stony.

"I was scared. If he hit me, I must be a pretty horrible boyfriend. And I hit you so I'm just like him. A monster." Tony growled, ripping himself away from Mike as tears fell down his cheeks and his fingers danced on his legs in rythms of four.

"No baby. I forgive you okay and I'm sorry I yelled." Mike whispered, wrapping his hands around Tony's when he saw what he was doing.

"Why? I'm horrible. I deserve to just die!" Tony cried, tears agon dripping down his red cheeks.

"Don't ever say that. You hear me Tony. Things are tough right now, but I'm not going anywhere Tone. No matter what." Mike assured him, pressing a gentle kiss to Tony's mouth as a promise.

Tony looked at him with his brown eyes filled with tears, lips quivering and Mike knew that he had to help Tony, no matter how hard it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!  
> -Cas


	11. Trauma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all for reading this story, at the end I'm going to do a short about me since so many of you have read my stories and given feedback through kudos, comments and bookmarks so thank you all.  
> -Cas

Tony told Mike what happened the next day.

He told him how Jake got mad at every little thing from Tony spilling coffee to him answering a text during a meal. He told Mike how Jake often beat him over it, but the words he shouted hurt worse.

He would call him every name under the sun but the worst was "worthless".

Tony wasn't sure why he stayed in such a toxic relationship. He wasn't sure why he was too weak to leave. He loved Jake, whether or not he wanted to admit it. 

But Jake didn't love him. No, he hated Tony. Tony knew because Jake often spat his declaration of disgust and hatred in Tony's face while he cried.

Mike was shocked at what he was learning, a look of horror on his face as Tony talked and talked about all the horrible and vile things this Jake did to him.

Mike wanted to find Jake and fucking snap his neck for ever laying a hand on his Tony. He wanted Jake to feel defeated and submissive, he wanted him to feel pain. But Tony told him to let it go. That it was in the past.

Though, Tony still faced mental and emotional repercussions of Jake's actions, he was still willing to forgive him and Mike didn't understand.

Didn't understand that in an abusive relationship, you grow a sort of attachment to your abuser, especially if they were your lover.

Tony shook as he told Mike about the times Jake would tie him to the bed and violate him in the worst ways. He told Mike about how he would make Tony repeat tasks over and over again until they were just perefct.

And then Mike understood. The OCD came from the trauma Tony endured when he lived with jake.

He strive for perfection. If he didn't get ut, he feared he would be hurt and that broke Mike's heart.

"I love you Tony and what he did does not change who you are. You are so fucking amazing and I hope you realize that." Mike told him, wrapping his hands in Tony's, fingers running over Tony's knuckles.

Tony looked up at him with wide eyes before collapsing against Mike, tears falling down his cheeks and sobs shaking his body.

"It's okay. You'll be okay." Mike consoled, pressing a kiss to Tony's forehead before wrapping his arms even tighter around Tony.

As long as Mike was around, no one would lay a hand on Tony again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!  
> Here's the thing:  
> Age: 15  
> Hair Color: Redish brown (unatural) naturally sandy brown  
> Eye color: Blue  
> Height: about 5'4"  
> Favorite color: Dark grey or turqouise   
> Favorite ship: Fuenciado  
> Favorite band: PTV  
> Random fact #1: I want a lot of tattoos.  
> I'll do one of these on each chaptered fic and they'll all be different sp check them out if you want.  
> Night!  
> -Cas


	12. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm working on getting this story finished now.  
> -Cas

It started off well, it really did. Mike had placed a multitude of open mouthed kisses on Tony's neck that had him moaning and begging for more.

Mike had removed Tony's shirt followed by his own and they both marvelled in the other's beauty. Mike kissed all over Tony's torso, biting here and there making Tony wrap his fingers in Mike's hair.

Their mouths met in a frantic kiss that had them both breathless and wanting more.

When Mike removed Tony's pants and boxers all hell broke loose. Tony started whimpering, breaths coming out quick and shallow. Mike immediately stopped what he had been doing, kissing Tony's inner thighs, and looked up at Tony with concern.

"Baby?" Mike asked as he pulled away from Tony and wrapped Tony's lower half with the sheets.

Tony just sobbed, mouth open to allow horrible sounds to come out.

"Tony? Please baby, what's wrong?" Mike begged, resting his hand on Tony's shoulder who flinched back in fear.

Mike ran and fetched Tony a glass of water who drank it all in one gulp and denied a second even though he probably could have used it.

Tony eventually calmed down, tears still falling in his cheeks but his breath was even and his mouth closed.

"I just, I t-thought of J-jake and I panicked." Tony explained, looking up at Mike with a broken expression. Mike was pissed. This Jake had fucked with Tony to the point where he couldn't allow himself to receive pleasure.

"It's okay baby. We don't have to do anything." Mike told Tony who looked at him with so much appreciation that Mike had to smile.

"Thank you. I can still help you though, it's just happens when you touch me." Tony replied, hand reaching for the hem of Mike's pants.

"Oh, baby, you don't have to. This is about both of us feeling good, not just me." Mike countered, gently pushing Tony's hand away.

What surprised him was the way Tony's face crumpled and a look of devastation filled his face.

"What happened?" Mike questioned, watching as Tony broke down.

"You don't want me." Tony cried and Mike instantly hugged him and planted a kiss to his forehead.

"I will always want you baby. You're so fucking perfect." Mike replied and he hoped to God Tony believed him this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!  
> -Cas


	13. Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I went to Hot Topic and a bunch of ts and tanks were 2 for 8 so I'm broke now.  
> -Cas

Mike found it hard to keep up with his job at the tattoo parlor since most of his thoughts were full of Tony and whether Tony was okay or not or if he should pack up and go check on him. Tony captured his attention all the time whether it was through texts or small amiles, he had Mike hooked.

Tony on the other hand was focused on Jake. What if he came back to get him? What if Mike thought he was broken? Tony constantly broke down randomly, falling back into counting steps and beats of four.

Tony was falling apart at the seams and he felt so pressured to hold himself together, to be strong for Mike.

Tony loved Mike, almost too much. Tony felt like he had to cater to Mike's every whim. He always brought him food and drinks while he watched tv. He offered Mike blowjobs more than he would like to admit, but Mike always turned him down and it stung a bit each time because Tony just wanted to be good for Mike, why couldn't he see that?

"Mike?" Tony called from the living room and Mike walked in and almost dropped the mug he had been holding. Tony sat on the couch in his boxers, legs propped up on the coffee table and his hand was in between his legs and his face, oh his face, it was relaxed and moans kept tumbling from his lips as he palmed himself.

"Tone?" Mike asked, voice cracking with arousal.

Tony just moaned in response and Mike instantly walked over to him, removing Tony's hand and replacing it with his own, smiling at Tony.

Tony smiled back and pushed his hips into Mike's hand, moaning louder when Mike picked him up and carried him to their bedroom.

Mike started kissing Tony's neck, leaving bruises on his collarbone before he ducked his head down to take Tony in his mouth. After a few bobs of his head, Tony lost it, moaning loudly as he threw his head back in pleasure.

Mike released Tony before kissing him on his lips, biting at his bottom lip gently. Tony reached down and started palming Mike and for once Mike didn't pull back, rather he pushed into Tony's hand and moaned through his climax before staring into Tony's eyes gently.

"Love you." Mike said as he snuggled into Tony's side after removing his now ruined boxers.

"Love you." Tony mumbled back but his mind was wandering. He didn't feel dirty like he had after Jake had done things to him. He didn't feel any pain, he just felt happy. Tony smiled when he realized Mike had fallen asleep curled into his side, breath puffing against Tony's chest gently.

Jake had always made sure it hurt. He always made sure Tony felt like a whore. But Mike was different. Mike touched him with soft caresses and whispered kind words into his ears. Jake always used fists and feet to create marks in Tony's skin but Mike used lips and hands to make sure Tony felt good, unbelievably good and that made Mike more than Jake could ever be.

Tony gently ran his fingers through Mike's hair as he thought about how wonderful Mike had been to him. Mike took him out on dates, talking to him while they walked so he wouldn't focus on how many steps he as taking. He always held his hands so his fingers wouldn't tap beats into his palms. He always kissed him before they went to bed so Tony would know just how much Mike loved him.

Tony fell asleep with a smile in his face and Mike curled into his side, their hearts beating in rythm, Tony felt alive for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! I got a PTV pullover too and it's so warm I love it. And when I was there they played Save me a Spark by sws and I was walking around trying not to sing.  
> That smut though. One of these days I will actually write smut but it feels so wrong.   
> -Cas


	14. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Two chapters back to back (yay). I should be studying but who needs school when you have bands?   
> I have this new obsession with BMTH's Anitivist. I feel pretty badass when I listen to it idk why.   
> -Cas

Tony met Vic on a chilly fall day. Mike and him had went to a small café to get some coffee when they had stumbled into Vic who had been there with his girlfriend Danielle. 

"Vic? Hey man." Mike greeted, wrapping his arms around his brother who was shorter than Tony had imagined. 

Danielle smiled at Tony who smile back, she seemed nice enough.

"Hi, you must be Tony. I'm Vic." Vic greeted, sticking his hand out for Tony to shake. Tony awkwardly shook his hand, nerves getting the better of him, what if Vic hated him?

"Let's grab a table." Mike said and led them over to a small circular table. Tony was between Mike and Vic so each time he sipped his coffee, his elbow brushed Vic's arm making him wince, why was he so awkward?

"So Tony, Why'd you pick Mike? I'm sure you get all the boys." Vic joked and Tony just shrugged and Mike gripped his hand under the table, an sing that he was becoming anxious.

Tony stared down at the coffee cup in his hand and tried to join I'm the conversation Vic and Mike were having but words just kept getting stuck in his throat.

"Well we better get going. It was great to see you Mike and nice to meet you Tony." Vic said, bringing Tony out of his stupor.

"You too." Tony replied, cheeks heating up when Danielle hugged him bye and followed Vic out.

Tony looked over to Mike who had a frown on his face.

"Are you okay Tone? I could have told him to leave if you needed." Mike told him and Tony felt guilty for making Mike feel like he couldn't spend a little time with his brother.

"It's just hard meeting new people." Tony responded before taking Mike's hand and leading them out of the café.

"Let's go to the mall Tone." Mike suggested and they started walking towards the mall which was only three blocks away.

Tony dropped Mike's hand when an old man glared at them but Mike picked his hand up again after flipping the man off making Tony giggle a bit.

As always, Mike droned on about random topics as they walked so Tony didn't count his steps and Mike stayed close to Tony in every store, making sure Tony felt okay.

When they were shopping, Tony thought about the day when Mike had tried to talk to him in a store and he freaked out. Back when Mike was only his tattoo artist and Tony was just his client. Those days seemed so long ago, it was hard to believe that had only been a few months back.

Tony laughed when Mike dragged him into Hot Topic, making Tony look at countless band tees.

Mike picked put a few, and even a couple for Tony who blushed the whole time Mike told him it would look great (better if they cut the sleeves off though).

"Baby?" Mike asked as they walked to the food court.

"Hmm?" Tony asked as he gripped onto Mike's hand tighter, scared that Mike alkrds going to break up with him. Even though he loved Mike and he knew Mike loved him, he still had insecurities when it came to them.

"Just wanted to say your ass looks really nice today." Mike laughed, smiling when Tony playfully smacked his chest, giggling a bit himself.

"Today? My ass looks great everday." Tony protested, lips smiling wider than they had in a while.

Mike slapped his ass gently after making sure no one was watching making Tony laugh louder and Mike wrapped his arms around Tony who leaned into his side before announcing that he really wanted to eat.

Mike bought him a pretzel and he got himself a slice of pizza and they sat on the edge of the fountain and just talked about nothing, but to Tony it was everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! LARSTY and AFU are both sort of on the back burner rn since I want to finish this so I can focus on them but I will still update them just not as often. This story will probably be around 15k but with me who knows.   
> Also at hot topic (my home) a lot of bracelets were on sale and them buy one get one so I got the orange misadventures set and a green day bracelet so that's cool.   
> -Cas ♤♤□□


	15. Faded Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm trying to make these longer but I'm too impatient. Ugh.   
> -Cas

Mike thought his heart was going to break when Tony told him that he used to self harm. Mike didn't see it coming and maybe he should have but most people don't think about self harm, let alone their boyfriend struggling with it.

Mike had seen Tony naked a handful of times but he had never noticed the faint white lines on the tops of Tony's thighs and on his sharp hip bones.

Mike did cry when Tony told him he still thought about doing it sometimes.

"You're so perfect baby. These scars don't change a damn thing okay? If anything they make you stronger." Mike told Tony who looked at him with such a sweet expression as if he had expected Mike to say something very different.

"When I told Jake he told me I was pathetic." Tony mumbled and Mike felt anger course through his veins. He wanted to hunt this fucking Jake down and show him who was pathetic but he stayed calm for Tony. He wrapped his arms around the thin man and pressed gentle kisses to his neck, but it wasn't sexual, just romantic and calming, something Tony needed.

"I'm over it now but the marks are still there and it's so frustrating because all they do is remind me of a time when things weren't okay and I hate that." Tony muttered, looking at Mike the whole time and all Mike could think about was how fucking brave Tony was.

"But you're okay now Tony, that means so much more than these scars ever will. That's all they are, scars. Most people have them Tone. And we can get cream to make them fade more if you want." Mike told Tony, smiling at him when Tony pressed a kiss to his cheek in thanks.

"I love you Tone."

□■□■□■□■

The next day, Mike told Tony to come down to the tattoo shop and to go into his room. 

Tony gasped at what he saw, Mike was smiling at him from his usual stool but he was holding a rose and looking at Tony with so much love he wanted to melt.

Tony sat in the chair, smiling like a fool when Mike handed him the rose after kissing his lips sweetly.

"I drew a tattoo for you baby." Mike said and showed Tony what he had drawn.

It was a picture of two skeleton hands gripping eachother, surrounded by roses of all different colors. It was beautiful. 

"I figured we could put it on your thigh so when you see it you won't want to destroy something so unique and it will distract from your scars baby." Mike told Tony and Tony started crying with happiness. 

Mike hugged Tony and waited for him to calm down before pressing the stencil right below Tony's scars.

A few hours later and the tattoo was done and it as the most amazing thing Tony had seen.

Mike watched as Tony looked in the mirror and he felt so damn happy that his art made Tony feel better about his body even though there was nothing for Tony to hate.

"Thank you." Tony cried into Mike's chest and Mike knew how much that tattoo meant to Tony. It wasn't just a tattoo, it was a piece of art that would decorate his skin forever, reminding him of Mike and how Mike cared about him and thought he was worth saving.

That night, Mike showed Tony how much he loved him and Tony returned the favor out of love, not pressure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! School tomorrow, ew. I remember when I liked school, if only I felt the same now.   
> I love Spanish though I can channel my inner PTV. I'm waiting for the day my teacher plays Besitos, the title is in spanish.   
> Adios amigos.   
> -Cas


	16. Old Habits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I reached 6k words so that's nice. I never know what to say in these. Casually shuffle playing A Flair For the Dramatic in the background rn while I write. I'm so old school I have cds.   
> -Cas

Whenever Mike was at work Tony found himself counting his steps. He was so frustrated with himself and the fact that he counted his steps but he couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried, not without Mike.

Tony often had to clean and reclean the floors because he thought dust still coated the surface even though it was beyond clean. 

He would often panic if things weren't going just right, a simple phone call could set him off into panic mode.

Mike didn't realize that Tony was still struggling because he didn't around Mike it was just when he was alone that his mind made him do things.

Tony hated it so much and he didn't want to admit it but he needed help. One day, while Mike was away at work he went to a no appointment needed clinic for mwntal illness and talked to a psychiatrist who prescribed him Clonazepam for panic and Fluoxitine for his OCD.

Tony took them once a day in secret, always taking them when Mike was either still asleep or at work. They seemed to help a bit too, slowing his brain processes so he didn't feel near as anxious and didn't think to count his steps or stop in doorways.

But Mike was destined to find out. 

One morning, Tony was getting the pills put of their containers when Mike walked into the bathroom, apparently he had the day off, but Tony hadn't realized that.

"Tony?" Mike questioned when he saw his boyfriend tip his head back to wallow some pills that had come from what looked like prescription bottles.

Tony froze, throat clenching as the pills went down. He set the bottles down and turned to look at Mike, terrified that he had been caught.

Mike said nothing as he took the bottles out of Tony's grip and reading the labels. Mike looked at Tony incredulously before walking out of the bathroom.

With shaky hands, Tony put the bottles back before rushing after Mike fear coursing through his veins.

"Why did you hide it from me?" Mike asked, looking at Tony with a hurt look.

"I didn't want you to worry about me." Tony responded, looking like he was going to start crying any second.

"I could have helped you. I thought you were better Tone. God, why are you so damn secretive all the time? Do you not trust me?" Mike cried in anger, stepping closer to Tony who took a step back in fear.

"I do! I do trust you!" Tony whispered, voice shaking th fear as Mike stepped even closer to him.

"Then why do you hide very god damn thing from me. I'm your boyfriend. I think I deserve to know if you're struggling Tony!" Mike yelled but instantly regretted it as Tony's knees gave out and he hit the floor with his hands clasped around his ears and apologies spilling from his lips. He wasn't hearing Mike anymore, he was hearing Jake. Telling him how pathetic he was, how worthless he was.

Mike sighed before he gently removed Tony's hands from his ears and whispered apologies in his ears until he calmed down, eyes slipping shut in exhaustion.

Mike helped Tony onto the bed, staring down at his boyfriend with sadness. Tony was slowly destroying himself but this time Mike was falling with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! The meds mentioned I have been on (now off) and the Fluoxitine is just prozac (which I reacted bad to).  
> So here's a little about me and bands.  
> First PTV Song: A Match Into water  
> First band shirt: PTV the collide with the sky one everyone has and I got a Panic! Jacket and FOB jacket the same day  
> First band I got into: Three Days Grace and MCR  
> Some other bands I like: Sum 41, Capsize, Falling in Reverse, SWS, Waterparks, ATL, TOP, State Champs, Four Years Strong, Amity Affliction & so many more   
> Thank you again!  
> -Cas


	17. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I keep spamming you with updates oops.  
> -Cas

Tony retreated back into his shell after that night. His voice was always quiet and shaky and his hands were back to counting beats of four, his pill bottles remained untouched.

Mike tried to get Tony to take his meds, he tried to get Tony to go see a therapist, but Tony refused, not wanting to burden anyone with his issues that he should be over.

Mike couldn't take much more. Tony didn't talk to him, he wouldn't accept any offer Mike made him. It was like they were strangers living together and it bothered Mike to no end.

He wasn't surprised when he returned to his apartment one day to find Tony's belongings gone and a note laying on the bed. But he was pissed. How could Tony back out now? Had he even cared about Mike at all?

The note said;

'Mike,  
I'm sorry I have to leave like this but I can't do this anymore. I'm falling and am dragging you down with me and that is the last thing i would ever want to do. I love you so much and I hope you can find someone better than me someday.  
♡Tony '

How dare he draw a fucking heart next to his name? How dare he write that he loves Mike?

Mike was furious and heartbroken and it was no surprise that he ended up in a cheap bar with a random girl grinding against him.

And all he could think about was Tony. They would be watching a shitty movie, laughing at the terrible special effects. He should have been holding Tony's hand, not the waist of a drunk brunette.

Alcohol turned his brain to mush and all he could feel as anger and he needed a release. So he took that brunette home and fucked her, the whole time thinking about how it should have been Tony moaning under him.

The next morning, Mike woke up with and immediately ran to the bathroom to throw up all the Alcohol from the night before, feeling like absolute shit.

Mike eventually made his way to the living room and he didn't even turn the TV on, choosing to just stare put the small window beside the tv, thinking about Tony and how amazing he had been.

Mike sighed and reached for his phone when he heard it ringing, frowning when he saw it was Tony. In anger, he cancelled the call, but he would soon regret that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! LARSTY and AFU are getting updated tomorrow!   
> -Cas


	18. Emergency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So the new You Me At Six album is literal perfection. I'm in love with it already.  
> -Cas

Mike received a call from the hostpital a few hours later saying that they had Tony and that he had wanted them to call Mike.

Mike instantly panicked, thinking the worst. He rushed to the hostpital, probably speeding, but at that moment he didn't care. All he could think about was Tony and please let him be okay.

When Mike got to the hostpital, the nurse directed him to Tony's room and Mike was shocked at what he saw.

Tony's eyes were drooped shut and his cheek had a large bruise on it and his lip was all busted open.

Tony's torso was visible and Mike gasped when he saw several dark bruises dotting Tony's ribcage.

Tony didn't look at him when he sat down in one of tge hard white chairs and stared at Tony in shock, mouth agape as he took in Tony's state.

"Tone? What happened?" Mike asked, afraid of the answer. Someone had hurt his Tony. The same person who swore to always protect.

"Jake." Tony croaked and Mike's hands balled into fists as he saw red. He had been mad at Tony earlier but now all he could feel was hatred towards Jake.

"The cops arrested him." Tony informed Mike in a small voice and he still wouldn't look at Mike, eyes downcast.

"That's good. I'm sorry he hurt you." Mike whispered, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that Tony had left him.

"I deserved it." Tony laughed bitterly.

"What? Hell no." Mike argued, looking at Tony with shock.

"I left you Mike. You were the best thing to ever happen to me and i panicked and fucking left." Tony spat, angry at himself, not Mike.

"That hurt Tony but I'll forget about it if you come home with me." Mike told Tony, wrapping his hand around Tony's gently.

"I'm just hurting you Mike. You deserve better." Tony muttered, but he didn't pull his hand away.

"I want you though." Mike protested, looking at Tony seriously.

"I want you too." Tony confessed before connecting their lips in a short kiss, if Mike could forgive him maybe he could forgive himself too.

□■□■□■ 

Mike helped him collect his things and put them back in Mike's apartment where they belonged and instantly everything felt right again.

Mike and Tony sat on the couch, a shitty movie on the screen and they laughed at how terrible the actors were and everything felt so right.

Tony's hand gripped Mike's gently yet firmly throughout the film and they couldn't help but end up naked under the sheets afterwards, smiles on both their faces.

Mike could almost forget the fact that just a day earlier he had had a one night stand. He could almost forget that Tony had broken his heart.

Tony could almost forget the way Jake had cornered him in the stairway, hitting him with harsh words and blows before leaving him to die in a dark stairway. He could almost forget the way he had almost lost Mike for good.

But they didn't have to forget because everything was okay then and that was what mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!   
> -Cas


	19. Tense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm updating my other two stories later but I have a ton of homework so this is most likely the only chapter for this I'm writing tonight.  
> -Cas

Tony was quiet for a few days after they got home, not really talking to Mike, but not ignoring him either, he was just silent.

Mike tried to engage Tony in conversation but he would make up excuses like he had to do the laundry or make some tea.

Mike tried to hold his anger in, getting mad at Tony would not help anything, it would just make him run away like last time.

Tony had healed well and no longer needed to take pain medications which was good but he was still feeling a lot of emotional pain.

Jake had touched him, he had called him all the horrible things he always had. He had threatened him. And it made Tony feel sick. What if Jake found him again? What if he hurt Mike? He had to distance himself so Mike wouldn't get hurt, by Jake at least.

"Hey Tone? Want to order some pizza?" Mike asked and Tony just shrugged in response making Mike sigh before setting off to call the pizza in.

Tony felt bad, he really did, he loved Mike but he didn't want him hurt. But Tony was hurting Mike by pushing him away, he was an idiot.

"Mike?" Tony asked when Mike came back in the living room.

"Yeah Tony?" Mike replied making Tony's hope shrivel because Mike never called him by his full name.

"Um, well, I'm sorry if I've been being kind of cold." Tony whispered, looking at the floor the whole time, hands shaking with fear and anxiety.

"Yeah what's that been about? Every time I talk to you you just give me the cold shoulder. I thought we were okay, I thought you felt comfortable talking to me now." Mike said, voice laced with hurt that made Tony's eyes water a bit.

"I am but Jake, he um, he said he would hurt you if I stayed with you." Tony muttered, voice angry.

"Baby, Jake's in jail." Mike reminded him gently making Tony's head snap up.

"I know. He was before. But he still got me, he will always be watching me Mike even if he dies." Tony explained, voice strained and hands gripping the couch cushion beneath him.

"I will protect you Tone." Mike swore, kissing Tony's cheek gently. He as still upset that Tony had given him the cold shoulder for a week but at least he had a reason, he was scared even though he shouldn't be base Mike was there and Mike loved him.

The doorbell rung and Mike went and got the pizza, setting the box on the coffee table, smiling at Tony who smiled back shyly.

"Love you." Mike whispered as he bit into his pizza, grease dotting his chin.

"So romantic." Tony said sarcastically before grabbing a slice of his own and biting into it smiling when Mike made a goofy face at him. 

They went to sleep that night pressed against eachother, Mike's head resting on Tony's chest and legs wrapped together and Tony forgot to count his breaths as he fell asleep, falling into the abyss where he could forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!   
> Also I just finished my family life unit and health today and I feel so gay gosh. I hate how they only talk about straight relationships and only show pictures of straight relationships, it's really frustrating idk if that's just me.  
> -Cas


	20. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I lied, I finished my homework so here's another chapter. The final chapter actually since I've run out of ideas with this story.  
> -Cas

Tony got another tattoo, but it was on a Saturday morning when Mike had no clients. He decided on a simple ed heart with stitches going up the middle to help symbolize his strength and recovery, it was cheesy but Tony like it and that's what mattered.

Mike tattooed him with care, dabbing at the drops of blood that rose to the surface of his skin softly, being careful not to hurt Tony anymore than he had to.

Tony always loved when Mike would tattoo him, giving him a unique piece of art that would forever be on his skin to remind him of Mike.

What Tony wasn't expecting was for Mike to hand him the tattoo machine when they were done, declaring that he wanted Tony to do anything to a blank spot on his thigh.

Tony's hands shook as he listened to Mike's instructions wuth open ears. When Mike looked down he smiled, Tony had made a small turtle on his leg.

When they were done, the two stared at eachother before leaning in for a kiss, feeling so much love for the other it was overwhelming.

Tony wasn't okay but who ever is? He would recover over time. And Mike, he would keep his promise and stand by Tony the whole way, holding his hand all the way to the aisle on their wedding day.

He held Tony as they adopted a baby girl. He held Tony and vowed to never let him go, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!  
> I have a tumblr if you care it's piercethecas as well if you want to check that out. I just post random band things.  
> Thank you to anyone who read this story, it means a lot that you take time to actually read my work.  
> -Cas ♡♡♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you! Look for the next chapter tomorrow as well as bother chapter of abwask!  
> -Cas


End file.
